Having a bad night

I am in tears tonight, I am frustrated and just plain desperate! I figured I would  just to vent to my dear friends and family who are my blog readers. I haven't mentioned much the problems Sadie is having. She is 20 moths old in 4 days and she is still not walking or saying any words.  My other huge concern is that she won't respond to her name or anything unless she can see me. I've known there is something wrong for a few months. The thought that there was anything mentally wrong with her was just devastating to me. Not that I would love her any less but I would just be sad for anything she would miss out on. As I watch her more and more I've realized that mentally she is a bright little girl. She remembers routines, she mimics movements, she remembers hand motions to songs. She does pretty much what any other 20 month old can do except walk and talk. I saw my doctor last month and he was a little concerned about her not responding but not about her walking. He had her do a hyper-thyroid blood test, I guess that can cause slow development, but it came back negative. He mentioned that maybe we should do a hearing test but if one was done when she was a newborn (which it was) then that probably wasn't a problem. This left me with the usual solution everyone gives me which is just wait a couple months she will start when she wants. I can only thrive off that for so long people! I just feel like every week I let pass by is crucial development time and I'm not doing anything to help her. After a couple days of thinking I called the doctor back to ask about the hearing test. He had me call the San diego Children's Hospital and they explained a little more. They want to do a BAER -Brainstem Auditory Evoked Response test. They would have to sedate Sadie (scary) and monitor her brain activity during a series of sounds. I immediately felt like I needed to do this test no matter what so they checked their schedule and the soonest test available is the end of Aug! Are you kidding me! That is forever away. They said there is always cancellations due to kids being sick so that is what I am praying for, not so much that other peoples kids will be sick but that there will be a cancellation soon. In the meantime I am researching any other possible problems. I've even heard that a food allergy can cause slow development in walking and talking so like I said I'm desperate and just trying to get answers so we can help her as early as possible. Loss of hearing fits the best( in my mind) so far. Maybe it contributes to her equilibrium being off and thats why she won't walk without help. I truly hope and pray she is just taking her sweet time and nothing is wrong, however I feel like I need to know if there is something wrong  just in case so we can deal with it early on. I never knew I could feel so helpless as a mom. I wish scheduling happened on a desperation basis I would win a sooner date on their calendar for sure. I realize that their are so many other parents that have to deal with more difficult circumstances, people I hear about and people I know, I just want to know what our circumstance is. Goodness I'm going on and on but it does feel good to talk or write about it.