I really dislike Doctors and I need more HOT water

The shower is my quiet time my only place to think. It's the place were no one bothers me. I can dream, cry , pray while practically burning hot water rushes over me. It's the 15 minutes a day I need to stay sane. Lately our hot water lasts about 4 minutes then goes to moderately warm and then on to cold. Hot water why have you forsaken me I need you! I know I sound ridiculous but instead of my meditation time I find myself wasting my shower wondering why the water isn't hot anymore.
The past week has been frustrating for me, (hence the reason why I need my lovely shower time). I went to my kid's pediatrician, Dr. Bakr, for little Micah's 2 month check up. I knew in my mind I was not going to give my baby any vaccines because of Sadie having possible Autism (they won't diagnose her till she is 3 ). I reminded the receptionist that I was going to hold off on the shots. I had both kids with me in the waiting room because I had to squeeze in the appointment in between Sadie's speech therapy and her physical therapy, in addition to her autism therapy we have every morning. Any how I was waiting to be called back when Dr. Bakr entered the waiting room and said " Mrs. Smith I don't see patients that won't take the vaccines" Now I have heard of doctors sometimes doing this but I didn't think it would happen to me. (Note to self if it can't happen to me: IT WILL!) I proceed to explain why I wasn't going to give the shots to my other child thinking he would understand. Nope, instead of understanding he replied with " Sadie has Autism?" My eyes were burning my jaw was clenched why was I still sitting there? He started to sense I was upset and proceeded to tell me vaccines don't cause autism, maybe he'll hold off on the MMR for a month, and he wasn't the one who gave Sadie her shots anyway. All I could muster up was " You have been her doctor her whole life" and then I left. I rolled my stroller out of the office with tears streaming down my face thinking, how can this doctor forget my daughter. I have been in his office a million times for referrals and blood test orders and really you can't remember my child! Yes he is the doctor that told me at 18 month I should not have any concerns about her not walking or talking or making eye contact. Shame on me for sticking with this guy! I just feel like a big idiot!
I understand (somewhat) why doctors don't want to see patients that won't take the vaccines. I am not going around saying that the vaccines gave my daughter autism. However I can't imagine the guilt I would feel if my son went through the same thing and I could have prevented it. In my mind and for MY situation it was too risky. I'm not terribly angry at the doctor for being really insensitive about the shots I'm livid because he could not remember my child and what she has to go through everyday.