Yikes it has been a while! This has been a shall I say challenging year. I miss blogging! The thought of catching up on every little thing seemed overwhelming so I'm throwing that idea out the window and will just share the major events to get me back on track. Lets start with Sadie, I know it's so unfair that I let everyone into our journey with her and then stopped blogging, I know I'm awful.

This summer Sadie was diagnosed with autism officially. I new it was coming but it was still hard to hear. Exactly a year ago from that day I was at the Orange county Children's hearing and speech center praying that my kid just had a hearing problem. I wonder how many parents tear up from disappointment when the audiologist tells you your child has perfect hearing.

At the time we were on a waiting list to see a good nurologist at Loma Linda. After battling the waiting list and many fine employees from our insurance company 4 months later we got Sadie in and the nurologist diagnosed her with Quadrapaligic cerebral palsy to explain her ridgid muscle tone in her legs and weakness in her upper body. The idea that Sadie had CP had been thrown around before but as always to have the actual diagnosis handed to you is a bit of an emotional experience. However hard it is to have answers it is so nice to have some of the peices to our little puzzle named Sadie. The neurologist told us that CP was most likely caused at birth when Sadie aspirated maconium and didn't have enough oxygen to her brain for a time. Her delays and autism symptoms are most likely because of this. From the begining we have been doing everything we need to be doing so her treatment plan will remain the same.

Unfortunately at age three The Regional Center (a state funded program that has been helping us financially with all her therapies) cuts off and your left the school district to help a bit with a preschool program with speech and physical therapy worked into it. This transition has honestly been heart wrenching for me. Sadie went from having a therapist in our home twice a day and me taking her to 3 additional therapies through out the week to a preschool class were I don't know what the heck is going on! I hate it! We are trying to figure out how to get Sadie additional speech and occupational therapy but it is all very costly. I'm sure there are those of you who can relate to the hair pulling sensation I am feeling when you can't help your kiddo because of awful insurance or lack of doe! It's sooooo frustrating!

On a positive note Sadie is making strides. She has become much more social and aware of familiar people. She had botox injections in her legs a couple months ago to loosen her muscles. Her feet went flat for a bit, it was amazing! They are starting to stiffen up so we are going to do the procedure again next month, hopefully. Seriously if you saw video of her 8 months ago and compared it to now you would be astonished! She is really starting to peak out of her shell!

Little Micah is great, Sadie calls him Bro so now we all do too. He is so loving and a crazy boy! I pray all the time that he will have patience and love for his sister as he grows older. I've started to think too far ahead about who will take care of her when Micah and I are not here anymore. Bro says "hi" all the time in the sweetest voice. It is so cute especially when your telling him "NO" as he is reaching for an outlet or any of the dangerous things he attempts. I realize now that people really do use the child restraint in the grocery carts and I now have a child that WILL climb the stairs. I almost have a heart attack 3 times a day from my little guy. His development is right on with everything except walking but he will get there I'm sure. I can now see that Sadie was behind from the very beginning but I didn't know because she was my first.

I feel like things will just keep getting better, it's hard to imagine what things will be like when Sadie is not a sweet little toddler anymore. I've been noticing the special needs kids who are much older and there steadfast parents and I think "wow they have been doing this for a long time and we are just beginning our journey". I will try to be better at keeping up my blog, it does help me and I hope it helps someone else looking for answers too:)