I love how involved our families are. They are our best support system. I wouldn't be able to go through all this without them. A couple weeks ago Micah and I, along with my family ran a 5K for Autism in the Race for Humanity. It was super fun!
These kidlets are ready to go!
I'm sorry I've taken so long to update everyone on Sadie, your pestering emails just show how much we are loved (..heather). So much is going on but let me start with, Sadie is doing great and making tremendous progress. In this last week we've been down to San Diego Children's hospital twice. We finally got her leg braces. Sadie walks on her tippy toes. Most Autistic children will walk on their tip toes for sensory reasons. Sadie however cannot physically get her feet flat without major effort. Her muscles are way to tight (and for some reason there isn't a doctor in the world who can tell me why). These braces will help stretch her foot and aid her in walking which is getting better in better each day!
Next we had another MRI but this time of her spine to make sure all the nerves were working. We haven't gotten the results yet for that. This time she was given anesthesia with the mask and let just say that I was NOT prepared for that! I feel like it will just be another thing to rule out but this is what we need to do to solve the puzzle.
I FOUND A NEW DOCTOR!!! I found a doctor at Loma Linda Children's who specializes in more holistic approaches. When I told the appointment desk what happened to me with our last ped. she immediately recommended Dr. Katerie. I went in and he spent over an HOUR with me just talking about Sadie. Hello! I gave him her very thick pile of medical records and put a big picture of her on top of them so that when he pulls out her file he will remember my daughter or at least that she has a crazy mom. He asked me what I was willing to try to help my daughter overcome autism and of course I said "Everything!" So we discussed some biomedical treatments that he recommended and I had already researched. We also discussed vaccines. and although he is an advocate for the alternate schedule he wanted me to be educated on why I wasn't going to give Little Micah the shots. So he recommended a book (The Vaccine Book by Robert Sears) and wanted me to read it and when I came in again for Micah's appointment we would discuss my reasons. It was such a great experience I wanted to dance and twirl out of the office but I had sling full of baby and a sleepy toddler in the stroller so I refrained.
Last but not least I am Ni Ni. She finally has a name for me, calls for me, looks for me, I am crying just typing this right now. She lunges away from dad calling "Ni Ni" to get into my arms. I just can't get enough of her long past due separation anxiety. She actually gets sad when I leave and is excited to see me when I come back. She sits in my lap and looks into my eyes while she plays with my hair and babbles. These major break through s in the last month and a half have left my heart soaring. Micah and I are thrilled to pieces over very little thing our Sadie overcomes. We know the road will be long but things like this make it worth while.
So I thought it would be fun for Sadie and I to bake some cookies together. I carefully set out all the ingredients in separate bowls so that she could help mix them in and so I could make sure I wasn't forgetting anything. She had a blast and I assured her that after her bath the cookies that Sadie and mommy made would be ready to eat. However to my dismay this is how they came out, totally flat, and yes I remembered the baking soda! Micah lovingly reminded me that this wasn't the first time my cookies have come out like this so I can't blame my assistant. She enjoyed one anyhow and I personally like the dough better anyway. So if anyone has a good recipe send it my way.
Sadie took 25 steps yesterday in physical therapy!!!!!!! She has also started to say AAHH OOO TEEEES!!! (Brush your teeth!) Soooo cute and the longest phrase ever!! We just love her! Her therapy and hard work is paying off! And little Micah is doing his job at looking cute and melting my heart.
The shower is my quiet time my only place to think. It's the place were no one bothers me. I can dream, cry , pray while practically burning hot water rushes over me. It's the 15 minutes a day I need to stay sane. Lately our hot water lasts about 4 minutes then goes to moderately warm and then on to cold. Hot water why have you forsaken me I need you! I know I sound ridiculous but instead of my meditation time I find myself wasting my shower wondering why the water isn't hot anymore.
The past week has been frustrating for me, (hence the reason why I need my lovely shower time). I went to my kid's pediatrician, Dr. Bakr, for little Micah's 2 month check up. I knew in my mind I was not going to give my baby any vaccines because of Sadie having possible Autism (they won't diagnose her till she is 3 ). I reminded the receptionist that I was going to hold off on the shots. I had both kids with me in the waiting room because I had to squeeze in the appointment in between Sadie's speech therapy and her physical therapy, in addition to her autism therapy we have every morning. Any how I was waiting to be called back when Dr. Bakr entered the waiting room and said " Mrs. Smith I don't see patients that won't take the vaccines" Now I have heard of doctors sometimes doing this but I didn't think it would happen to me. (Note to self if it can't happen to me: IT WILL!) I proceed to explain why I wasn't going to give the shots to my other child thinking he would understand. Nope, instead of understanding he replied with " Sadie has Autism?" My eyes were burning my jaw was clenched why was I still sitting there? He started to sense I was upset and proceeded to tell me vaccines don't cause autism, maybe he'll hold off on the MMR for a month, and he wasn't the one who gave Sadie her shots anyway. All I could muster up was " You have been her doctor her whole life" and then I left. I rolled my stroller out of the office with tears streaming down my face thinking, how can this doctor forget my daughter. I have been in his office a million times for referrals and blood test orders and really you can't remember my child! Yes he is the doctor that told me at 18 month I should not have any concerns about her not walking or talking or making eye contact. Shame on me for sticking with this guy! I just feel like a big idiot!
I understand (somewhat) why doctors don't want to see patients that won't take the vaccines. I am not going around saying that the vaccines gave my daughter autism. However I can't imagine the guilt I would feel if my son went through the same thing and I could have prevented it. In my mind and for MY situation it was too risky. I'm not terribly angry at the doctor for being really insensitive about the shots I'm livid because he could not remember my child and what she has to go through everyday.
My friend Maria took these beautiful pictures of our sweet little babies a couple weeks ago. Sadie was quite a challenge! She wants nothing to do with her little brother so it was impossible to get a picture of them together, it was kind of funny. The only way Sadie would look at the camera is if we sang "Chin up" from Charlotte's Web. Thank goodness Maria knew all the words. She again proved to be my best, most patient friend. Thanks Maria! I love you to bits!
I've had my tree up since before Thanksgiving, thinking this baby would come early. This is my first fake tree. I really love it! I just miss the smell but the conveniences at the moment overshadows that. I've always wanted a color coordinated tree so after Christmas last year I bought a bunch of clearance ornaments (that were toddler friendly). It was quite fun to pull them all out this year. So I'm sitting here STILL pregnant enjoying my fun tree.
My Mom finally graduated from the long grueling program called Nursing School! Yeah! We are all so proud of her!
Sadie's favorite things in the world are fish and water. So naturally when we go over to the Smiths Sadie loves it when Grandpa takes her to the coy pond to feed the fish. There is a huge yellow fish that our nephew, Jonah ( when he was 4) appropriately named " Man-Leg" and a smaller one he named "Can-Leg". Sadie is always mesmerized by them, it's so cute!
This is Sadie in her physical therapy. I know it looks crazy but she actually really does enjoy it. She loves it when she gets to jump on the trampoline. Her walking and talking is still coming along kind of slowly but we have alot of hope! As far as cognitively she is doing so great! When we first caught her delays she was about 14 months behind or more, now she is less then 6 months behind and mostly caught up in some areas. She is following directions and making eye contact so much better. We have been so excited! She is being more social and I think she is starting to call me "Ni Ni" when her dad asks her to point to me. She knows five colors and her basic shapes. I almost cried the other day when she pointed to the correct shape when I asked her about her peanut butter sandwich I cut with cookie cutters into stars and hearts. We still have a long road ahead but I am so grateful for her progress!! I just love my little babe. She has really taught us not to take all these little milestones for granted. Every little thing she learns is so precious to us. Today I received a link to a study that just came out confirming a link to murcury and Autism. I really hope this is just the start of more studies to come so that we can find out how to help our kids. Here it is if any one is interested:Landmark Study finds: Murcury poisoning causes Autism
So the past few months I've been giving in to my ever darkening roots and traded in my super blond for copper. I think I'm getting used to it. I do like the way it matches my freckles. What do you think?
I apologize for my lack of blogging. To catch everyone up, My due date is Dec. 28th. This last week I had to go to the hospital twice to stop labor. The doctor said next time it happens they will just deliver the baby, so now I'm on bed rest with tons of time to catch up on blogging. I'm really trying to keep this baby in for at least a couple more weeks and Micah is really trying to avoid the uncomfortable hospital chairs so he's been super man, dad, husband all at once. Sadie is still not walking so Micah has been able to stay home to be with her most days. My friends have wanted to see my pregnant belly so here it is. As for the full body shot, get real people, I just went threw partial labor twice and I look like death! And now I will continue to journal all my October events here at the end of Nov. Oh well:)
I love sweet little things like this! My inlaws got me these lovely measuring spoons for my birthday! They're from my favorite store, anthropologie.
You know how kids will like the box that there toy came in more than the toy? Well in this case my parents got Sadie a card that played "The Hamster Dance" when you open it and at the time she completely forgot about any birthday presents. (Don't forget to turn off my side music player before pressing play).
We had a fabulous Charlie and Lola party for Sadie! She had so much fun! My friend made these super cute Charlie and Lola cakes (the small one gluten free for Sadie's special diet). Sadie truly enjoyed opening her presents. She seemed to relish in each one. It was so fun to watch her. At my in laws she received numerous Charlie and Lola dolls, hand bells (Micah's favorite) and many other fun presents. Micah and I decided to get her a trampoline to help loosen up her legs, plus she loves jumping! She enjoys taking a Lola doll and jumping to music. It's so very cute!
My apologies for not blogging for quite sometime. We have been so completely busy, so I have much to catch up on. On this particular day we went to a little dairy farm with some friends. Sadie really enjoyed all the animals. It made me think of when I was younger and would go visit my grandparents farm every year in Oregon. As soon as I attempted to set Sadie in the hay I took in that grassy, earthy smell and all those wonderful memories came to me. The excitement of feeding the chickens their corn, baby kittens in the hay barn, baby cows Grandpa John would name after us. I wish I could make these kind of memories for Sadie. Some how I don't see Micah and I as the rancher type though. (Sigh) Oh well.
